Monday, January 11, 2010

Why I've Chosen to Have a Heart for Home

I've been receiving a lot of questions lately as to why I am a "stay at home daughter", and what all that entails. I've done my best to explain the reasons behind my decisions, and I've tried to answer a few questions that you may have.

Through the years, Marxism, feminism, evolutionism and individualism have all played an important role in dividing the family and forming broken homes. We know from scripture that the devil manipulates through the weaker vessel (Genesis 3:1-6, 1 Peter 3:7). We also know the importance God places on the structure of the family and His function and use for it. So what better plan for destroying the church than to destroy the family, the foundation of the church? As a church, we've convinced ourselves that we're not involved in any of these terrible things: but we've become deceptively entrenched in them; living out their effects in our day to day lives.

Karl Marx was fueled by a strong hatred for God and anything His word taught. "Perhaps his most ingenious and successful move in tearing down Christendom was to inspire women to tear down their homes and families with their own hands" (So Much More, by Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin). Part of his design was to create state run schools, so that mothers would then join the work force and effectively be taken out of the sphere of home. The result created confusion and diversion from the biblical structure of marriage and the family. Adolf Hitler also understood how to go about achieving his goal (to implement a new world order). He understood that the direction of the nation would be determined by the ideology of the younger generation. In other words, he understood that the way to accomplish this goal was in manipulating the minds of the youth.

So why am I delving into all of this history? Because something that the Lord designed and values is being forgotten, even despised, by Christendom. It is not my place to go out and change the world; but I can make a difference by living out the biblical structure in my own life. I cannot fix damage done by Karl Marx, Margaret Sanger, Charles Darwin, and many others; but I can fight against their attacks on Christ by uncovering the lies they taught and living contrary to their teaching. In doing so, I am playing a part in changing the direction our culture is going. The best way to do living out the teachings of the Bible.

Those teachings are:

Proverbs 31:10-30. What better place to learn to be a Proverbs 31 woman than in my home and under the teaching of my mother?

Titus 2:3-5. "...and so train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled".
That is a scary thought: to revile (abuse) the word of God. I don't think that any woman could prepare long enough to perfectly execute this list. But it is my duty to aim to follow this standard that God has set. What better way to prepare to love my husband and children than to practice Colossians 3 inside my home, with those I'm most comfortable with and find it most hard to deny myself to! And what better way to practice being a keeper at home than to learn the ins and outs from my mother, who has wells of wisdom on the subject! And who could think of a better way to prepare to submit to a husband, whether he's right or wrong, than to practice in a daughters relationship to her father?

Psalms 147:12 "May our sons in their youth be like plants full grown, our daughters like corner pillars cut for the structure of a palace."

Here are some answers to questions/concerns people have had about me being at home:

1) Is your dad becoming a hyper-patriarchal father?
My dad is as far from that title as is humanly possible! My father has been given responsibility before God to protect me and lead me in the word (Numbers 30:2-5, Ephesians 5:23-27, Ephesians 6:4). Because he steps up to this job does not make him a tyrant. The role I practice with my father preceeds the role I will take in marriage, while also teaching me to respect and obey Christ.

2) Aren't you lazy/negligent for not providing for yourself?
Never in scripture are women given the responsibility to provide for their families. This is a job given specifically to men; to the extent that if they fail in this responsibility, they are worse than unbelievers (1 Timothy 5:8).

3) But aren't you losing your identity by staying at home under the obedience of your parents? Aren't you allowed to make this decision for yourself?
This decision has been completely mine. My parents are very gracious and have encouraged and guided me, but never through guilt or force! And as to the other question, I can think of no better way to answer than through the Word. Luke 9:23-24, Philippians 2:5-7, and Ephesians 6:1:"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right." We all know this verse and probably assume it applies only to young children. But I am still my parents child; no matter my age. It is my duty to honor and obey them. Now when I'm married, Lord willing, the authority role will be transferred from my parents to my husband. I will honor and obey my husband, while still respecting my parents. But their role will be different in the event of my marriage.

4) But you're almost twenty-three! Shouldn't you form some sort of independence?
This belief is strictly from the world and not a biblical idea at all! The structure laid out in the Bible is that a woman is under her father's protection and serves/learns inside her home, discipled by her parents, until she is married. That role of protection is then passed to the husband. There is never a time that women are supposed to be without a headship to protect and lead them. So the idea that a girl should go out into the world and gain independence once she's 18 is simply a pagan idea.

5) So basically you've decided to sit at home and not further your education?
There could be nothing further from the truth! I have the opportunity to study any subject I feel lacking in, for as long as is required. Just because I'm not taught by "certified" teachers, doesn't mean I'm not learning. "We are addicted to schooling, and ignorant of education" (Voddie Baucham).

6) Isn't it old-fashioned? After all, this is the Twenty-first century.
Yes, this is the twenty-first century. But God's word still stands as the outline we should live our lives by. Culture should not influence our obedience to God. If God's word is considered old-fashioned, then consider me a puritan dinosaur!

7) How can God use you to increase His kingdom if you're hiding within the realms of your home?
This objection is raised from the belief that God's kingdom is increased only through tracts, witnessing to unbelievers, or being involved in some kind of church ministry.
I have the opportunity to disciple my five younger siblings every day. I have been given the opportunity to help teach them God's word and pray for them daily that they would grow in the knowledge of our Lord. It may not seem like much of a Kingdom building time; but imagine when my younger siblings have their own families and, Lord willing, raise up a godly seed. Imagine the influence my time with them now could have on the generations to come. Praise God that I've been given such a great responsibility! I only pray they will learn to love and fear the Lord through my example: be it bad or good. In being a stay at home daughter I have also been given the opportunity with my family to practice hospitality, which is one of the best ways to advance the Kingdom of God! Which brings me to the next question:

8) Doesn't your view of the family hinder you from being involved in any kind of ministry/ mission work?
This objection also comes from a misunderstanding of what ministry truly us. I can't count the number of times my family has opened its doors and ministered to believers, unbelievers, individuals, families, just around the dinner table. If we produce strong families and show hospitality as we're commanded, imagine the doors of ministry that could be opened! My view of the family provides opportunities to minister. Another reason this question comes up is because we as Christians don't value the role of motherhood and homemaking. We consider it to be more effective to be individual missionaries instead of keeping a home and raising up warriors for Christ. I have seen first hand a lot of missionaries sacrificing their families for the sake of the ministry.

9) How will you experience Christ if you don't go to school to learn about Him?

And this question comes from the mentality that in order to fully experience Christ and learn about God, you must study under a theological professor. A man doesn't have to go to seminary to understand God and His word. My father is a perfect example of this. He has never spent a day studying under a theological professor, and yet he is one of the wisest men I know! I have my own teacher of the Word inside these four walls: My father! And as far as experiencing Christ, it goes much deeper than a mere feeling of the Holy Spirit's presence. It is the day to day trials and suffering molding us into His image and sanctifying us daily in His word.

Now I realize that what I have said is extremely controversial and radical.
I realize that it is not my place to say what any other individual or family should do, nor is it my place to judge others for taking a different path than myself. But I must personally live according to my conscience and the conclusions I've come to.

"So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin" (James 4:17).

I hope this has answered questions and given everyone a better understanding of why I've chosen to have a heart for home. If any of you have any further questions, please feel free to ask. I'll try my best to answer them!

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